


New Year's Day in Paradise

by doctormissy



Series: 9 Days Christmas Writing Challenge [9]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Kissing, New Year's Eve, Swimming Pools, Tropical Islands, Water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 11:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormissy/pseuds/doctormissy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12th Doctor, Clara, and Missy go to a giant waterpark in Germany, Tropical Islands, to spend the New Year's Eve and they meet Phil Coulson and his girlfriend Rosalind doing exactly the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Year's Day in Paradise

It was 31st December 2016 and the Doctor was spending the New Year's Eve on Earth with Clara and Missy, who - intriguingly - suborned him into it; she said she wants to go somewhere nice, so Clara propounded to go to Tropical Islands, a big, wonderful and warm water park in Germany, somewhere near Berlin. The Mistress agreed and it took them a while of persuading the Doctor to go there; he said he doesn't like water parks (he also said he doesn't have a reason for it, but both Clara and Missy could think of at least four for this regeneration - crowded place, humans, water, swimsuit wearing etc.) and man-made places like this, he'd rather go to planet Aria where they have something like this, but bigger and natural. He went along with it after all, so there they are, in a pool called The Lagoon.

"I don't know what is so 'great and cool' about this place, it's just two pools and tropical plants and hot air," the Doctor said for the third time this day and turned to his companion. Clara suppressed a smile and decided to go the metal circle with running water called 'Wild River'.  
"Doctor, just relax and enjoy the water," replied Missy instead, gently patting his shoulder. She still wore that up-do of hers and black bikini; she didn't have that much make-up though. Clara fixed her hair up with a rubber band and she had blue-and-white flowery swimsuit. "Wait for the night," she whispered and went to join Clara in the wild river.  
"What-?" the Doctor murmured and remained at the place he stood before; he had no intention in swimming in that oval with another twenty people. Suddenly, a colourful ball with the water park's logo hit his head from behind and bounced away. He turned to the ball's direction and saw a little boy saying "Sorry, sir."  
"Fine," the Doctor answered, in German of course, thanks to the TARDIS's translation circuit. Or was it Polish?  
There were people from many different countries, but they all sounded British to him (and Clara and Missy as well). He didn't pay a lot of attention to them, but there was a voice that drew his attention, someone was talking with American accent. ("Do you want to go there?" a man asked. "When I said we should go somewhere nice to celebrate New Year's Day, I haven't on mind something like this," a woman said and the man responded, "But it's a nice place, isn't it? Since we were in Germany anyway.")  
They are here too? Invasion of Americans, he thought and an image of a young American lady came to his mind. Peri Brown.  
But it wasn't her or anyone known to him, just a man in his fifties with brown hair on already balding head and a woman was swimming next to him; she was a little younger than him, with dark brown mikado, swimsuit similar to Missy's and kind of pretty smile, the Doctor noticed. They were heading to the wild river too.  
Why is everyone going there, it's just a circle of running water, he thought again and decided to move to the whirlpool under an imitation of a rock, which was covered in various plants.

"Missy," Clara said, sounding surprised, "what're you doing here?"  
"Nothing, can't I be there or what? I'm just swimming," the Time Lady said smugly in Scottish accent and moved forward, away from Clara.  
She sighed and forced herself to not think about her. She was just floating around, enjoying herself when some girl hit her back with her float and pushed her ahead, which caused a chain reaction and she hit a woman in front of her.  
"I'm so sorry, this girl pushed me," she apologized to her and looked on the girl. She smiled and mumbled something under her breath.  
The woman Clara hit and her friend/brother/boyfriend/husband or whatever he was turned to Clara as well. Then she said, "It's alright miss, not your fault. It's a crowded place, this 'wild river'. I don't know why they call it like that anyway." But what she said didn't translate to British accent, but to American, which meant she is American. The woman smiled and Clara smiled back. "You're British!" the man next to her said like she was a rare species. Americans.  
"Yeah. What're you doing here, in Germany? In Tropical Islands?" Clara asked, unable to hide her curiosity. What are they doing here indeed?  
"We had some… business to do in Berlin and we have a day off now, so Ros here wanted to go somewhere. I was there before, so I suggested going there to celebrate New Year's Day," the man answered, putting his hand around the woman's shoulders.  
No ring, Clara noticed. Boyfriend then. "May we go out, Phil?" she asked.  
Clara saw an opportunity in getting rid of Missy, so she followed the couple. "Same with me. We - the Doctor, his… evil girlfriend and I - are travelling a bit so we came to stop there for the same reason as you. I'm Clara, by the way. Clara Oswald." She considered these two nice and friendly and she wanted to talk to someone else than the Doctor sometimes.  
"Phil Coulson," the man introduced himself. "And this is Rosalind Price, my - can I say it? - girlfriend." They shared a caring, flirtatious look and obviously resisted kissing each other. "Nice to meet you, Clara. You remind me of our scientist. She's British too, by the way."  
'Our scientist'? What do they do? Clara thought of UNIT and how it reminded her of it. "How long are you staying?" Clara changed the subject and looked back to the oval to check up on Missy; she wasn't doing anything particularly evil. Yet. But for now she was just swimming around and clearly enjoying it.  
"Till tomorrow," Phil answered. "You?"  
"Don't know, actually. But I think the Doctor will be even more bored by the end of the day, so… Which reminds me, I should go back to him now, he hates when we wander off. You wanna meet him?" She pointed at the whirlpool cave.  
"Actually, I think that the whirlpool over there might be a good use, with our job," Rosalind remarked, looking at Phil and then back at Clara.  
"Ok. Who is this man, that he calls himself 'the Doctor' anyway?"  
"That's a long story, you wouldn't understand," Clara answered, not knowing that in fact they are SHIELD agents, fighting Hydra and searching and studying everything alien, that they are behind the Avengers initiative and that they are working with people having superpowers called the Inhumans.

The three came to the cave where the Doctor was sitting, not-so-upset-anymore and quite enjoying the back massage. "Doctor, these are Phil Coulson and Rosalind Price, rather nice Americans I met in the wild river," Clara said as they approached the cave.  
Oh, these are the two I saw earlier, thought the Doctor, she already made friends with them? "Doctor John Smith," he said and shook their hands. "And stop calling it 'Wild River', please. It's no wild river. But on the planet Aria, they had a real wild river, if you'd listened to me-"  
"Planet Aria? What is he-"  
"Don't mind him, he's just babbling-"  
"No, you might not believe him, but- what do you know about other planets?" Coulson shouted.  
"What do you know about other planets?" the Doctor shouted back. Rosalind and Clara exchanged a confused glance and looked back at Phil and the Doctor, and then Ros said, "Who are you?"  
"Who are you?" Clara asked back. Can she trust them? And can they trust her and the Doctor?

"What is going on here? What do you know about aliens?" Phil Coulson didn't stop asking questions. The Doctor was silent, but precipitously he said, "I am an alien."  
"What?" said both Phil and Ros in unison.  
The Doctor, or at least this version of him, wasn't usually this communicative. "A Time Lord," he explained.  
"And you?" Phil turned to Clara.  
"Hundred percent human," she assured them and asked, "you didn't answer though. What do you know about aliens?" Were these two something like Time Lords too or they're just humans, but something like UNIT? She remembered the note about a British scientist and started to get one and one together.  
"SHIELD. We work in SHIELD. I'm a director, actually."  
She's heard of SHIELD once or twice, but she didn't think it's real. "UNIT," Clara blurted, "we work for UNIT. And I'm also an English teacher, if you'd ask."  
"Ever heard of a planet where's sunlight only few minutes in few years, it's all blue and sandy and there are ruins of an old city? Inhabited, two big moons?" Coulson broke the silence after a minute.  
"Maveth, Hebrew for death? Yeah, there is a file about it in the Matrix, but that's all I know," the Doctor answered.  
Clara, Ros and Coulson, who were still standing in front of the Doctor allowed themselves to sit down in the whirlpool next to the Doctor and started a fierce debate about their jobs, what they know, who are the Time Lords et cetera, but they were interrupted by a double 'Ehm ehm' coming from the other Time Lady of who the Doctor and Clara almost forgot she's here.  
"Doctor, that's not very nice of you leaving me alone in that oval thing and talking to other stupid humans," she reproached him, resting her arms on her hips and grinning resentfully.  
"Missy, you're back," he said. Everyone buttoned up. "This is Phil Coulson and Rosalind Price, they, um, work for an organization like UNIT. SHIELD, it's called, and they know things. A lot. About aliens and other planets. They're no stupid, Missy."  
"She's a Time Lord too, but more evil and cruel than him. She destroyed worlds, ruled in terror and killed a lot of people, even races. She became the Prime Minister and President of the USA once, but no one remembers. She calls herself The Mistress, that evil girlfriend I told you about before," Clara explained to Ros and Phil, whispering. "She even tried to kill me. I don't understand how the Doctor is still capable of loving her after all that."

"Really?" Missy raised her eyebrows. "I guess that changes things."  
Well, Clara wouldn't expect that reaction. Missy just continued in her way to the cave, making the water plash with her hands.  
She didn't trust her; she was still half expecting something to happen, even if it should be a wave of water send in their direction. Nothing. Missy came to them and sat at the Doctor's lap. He put his hands around her waist (as far as they could tell, they couldn't see a lot because of the bubbles in the water) and smiled a little. None of them said a word, just observed the situation.  
"How are you so silent? Clara, shouldn't you be saying something? You never keep your mouth shut; all you do is talk and talk… What, why are you staring at me?" Missy pointed out.  
"No one is staring, Missy," the Doctor reassured her. The massage streams paused. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"  
Missy stood up and the Doctor did too; they were slowly moving from the whirlpool cave.

To Missy's surprise and shock, the waterfall turned on when she was standing under it and it watered her with a steep hit. "Aaaaaahhh," she cried out, "that bloody waterfall destroyed my hair! It's all wet and lank now!" She started to unfix the hairpins that held that up-do of hers and threw them in the water.  
"You can't do that, someone'll step on it and-"  
"I can do what I want, besides, it's your fault."  
"My fault? It's automatic, it's no one's fault."  
"You wanted to get out of there; it's your fault then, stop arguing with me!" Her soaked hair were fully undone now, loose and resting on her back. She was almost sobbing; or at least she tried to look insulted. She was smiling now, probably because of some plan that came onto her mind.  
Missy splashed the water at the Doctor repeatedly, so he was soggier than he'd like to be as well. He chuckled and sprinkled her too.

"She doesn't seem like a very much evil person to me," Coulson noted as he watched her actions for some time. "Maybe a bit mad though."  
"This is one of her good moments apparently," Clara added, leaning closer to SHIELD's director.

Missy was pushing the Doctor under the waterfall now. "I don't care about my hair, if you intend to do me the same as it did to you," he clarified the situation. "But I assure you you look good even with soaked hair." He brushed her hair gently, pulled her closer and bent down to kiss her.  
When she let go of him, she pushed him down to the water. He pulled her down too; they were giggling and then they both dived into the green-glowing water and stayed there for - Clara counted it - three and a half minutes.  
She didn't want to think about what are they doing down there.

"Really, she doesn't seem evil at all. I think you're overdoing it a bit," Phil said to Clara. Rosalind moved to his side and he enfolded her; she leant her head on his shoulder.  
"Trust me, I'm not. You know her only for few minutes, if you'd known her as long as I do, you would say otherwise," Clara insisted.  
"How can they be under the water too long without drowning?" Rosalind wondered, turning to Clara.  
"A) two hearts and binary system, B) Time Lords don't need oxygen," she answered as if it was a common thing and nothing unusual.

"I know what you meant by that 'wait for the night' thing now. I have to admit that this place is not that horrible; the lights are kind of… pretty," the Doctor said as they surfaced.  
"Told you. Now, will you just stand there or we'll go somewhere?"  
"And where? They've only got two swimming pools and we've been to both," he answered, swimming to the edge.  
"We could go to that long blue slide up there," Missy pointed at the slide area and gave the Doctor a keen gaze.  
"You have to pay for it and we don't have any money," he reminded her, hoping that he won't have to go there. Like if he didn't know her.  
"And who said we'll pay, dear?" That was exactly the reaction he expected to hear.  
"Fine." They climbed out of the Lagoon, dried themselves and went to the western part of the building.

They left Clara alone with Phil and Rosalind. "I think I'll go too, it was nice to meet you two. Hope to see you again soon," she said and went to the other side of the Lagoon, that part with the fountain.  
She took a few rides on a short dark-inside slide there and then she went to the forest, where the Doctor parked the TARDIS (but they did pay the fee). He (well, Missy) made it invisible, so she had to remember where precisely it is.  
She was hungry, so she put on the nearest dress she's found and went to one of the Asian restaurants.

"Well, that was a strange day," said Ros, "and very strange people, these three."  
"Technically, they're not people, at least not all of them," Phil replied, his gaze pointed at the waterfall.  
"You're always such a faultfinder, Phil. You know how I meant it."  
"At least they've nothing to do with Hydra. …Sorry, that was-"  
"Alright. I'll never get rid of it, 'the one that worked for Hydra for ten years and was so stupid to not know about it'."  
"You couldn't suspect a thing, Malick worked for the WSC after all…"  
"I could, Phil. I could." She looked at him. He could feel her looking somehow; he turned to her and looked into her eyes. "Or at least I could find out about the cure. I was a leader after all."  
"None of it is your fault, Ros. How many times I have to say that I've forgiven you. A long time ago," Coulson said kindly, fondling her cheek.  
"You know your hand is cold and wet and it's not very pleasurable," she said dryly, but then smiled. He loved that sweet smile of hers so much.  
"We're in a swimming pool, dear. You should be glad that I'm still resisting pushing you under the water like those two did it." He thought of the Doctor, Missy and Clara again.  
"Don't you dare doing it, Phil, otherwise I-"  
"Otherwise you what? Do that to me too? Be sure I wouldn't mind it at all-" She silenced him with a kiss; it was a long, loving and intense kiss. And also a wet one, because they still were in a swimming pool.  
"We shouldn't do that here, they're watching," she whispered.  
"So what? And you're the one who started it in the first place." He kissed her once more. "I love you, Rosalind."  
"I love you too, Phil." He hardly ever uses her full name; he calls her 'Ros' most of the time. It meant something when he used it and she loved him to say it. She hasn't thought that she might fall in love ever again after her first husband's death, but she didn't know Phil Coulson back then.

"Told you it'll be fun. Once more?" pleased Missy after they went down the big blue slide for the third time; the Doctor was feeling a bit sick, which is unusual for a Time Lord, but Missy seemed to enjoy it. "No, this was enough. Go alone if you want to," he answered with his usual grumpy tone.  
"Alright then," she nodded, twirled and went up the stairs again. The Doctor waited for her by the exit and thought where could Clara be and that he should probably go and find her, but then he remembered he shouldn't leave Missy alone for more than two minutes, so he stayed and waited.  
It took her eleven minutes to get back, she must've gone there at least twice, the Doctor thought as she came back with the usual grin on her face. "I must say I'm surprised you're still here," she enounced, raising one eyebrow. "I would like to eat something." He was surprised by that sentence.  
"What? Yes, eating. But we ate yesterday," the Doctor said.  
"Yesterday is yesterday, today is today. I'm hungry and I'm sure you won't let me eat these koi carps from the pond over there," she replied and started to examine her left hand's nails like she didn't care.  
"Alright, we'll go eat. What do you like to have?"  
"The universe, but if you mean for dinner, I don't know." She was looking at her right hand now.  
They walked in silence until they reached the restaurant point. They were looking at each one's menu, but then the Doctor spotted Clara Oswald sitting at one of the Asian ones, with a big pagoda in the middle. He went to join her immediately, although Missy didn't completely agree to that. She followed anyway.  
"Hello Clara, I was looking for you," the Doctor greeted his companion and sat vis- à-vis her, Missy next to him. "What are you eating?"  
"Noodles with chicken, vegetables and tangerines. It's good," she answered, chewing a mouthful of the noodles. "Definitely better than your last week's attempt to cook macaroni cheese."  
Clara and Missy both giggled when they saw an image of a dish covered in burned pasta with even more burnt cheese, smoke coming out of the oven and the Doctor coughing while trying to cast the smoke out in their minds.  
"I think I'll have it too, what about you, love?" Clara jerked slightly in surprise hearing Missy calling the Doctor 'love', but she continued eating and minded the two Time Lords no more. "Can I taste it?" Missy asked Clara, who wasn't shocked anymore; she knew to expect almost anything from her (except calling the Doctor 'love' in front of her). She shrugged and shifted the plate to the other side of the table. Missy gored a piece of meat and a dash of the noodles and placed the fork inside her mouth to taste it. "It's good," she said and wanted to take some more, but Clara took the plate back.  
"Get your own, this one's mine," she rebuked the mean Time Lady, who hadn't even enough dignity to get dressed; she was sitting here only in her bikini and so did the Doctor (he didn't wear bikini, of course, that would be ridiculous).

After they ate their dinner and went to 'The Sea', they met Rosalind and Phil again; Ros was floating on a neon yellow air mattress and Phil was swimming next to her.  
"Hello again," Clara shouted as she saw them in the back of the large swimming pool and waved at them.  
"Sooner than I thought," Coulson said when he checked the time. It was 7:13 p.m.  
"It's the only place here where you can swim," the Doctor replied and let the water uphold him.  
The TARDIS three swam to the SHIELD couple and spent the rest of the day with them; they even arranged a swim contest (the Doctor won) and a diving challenge (Missy won this time, Rosalind couldn't keep her hair dry anymore. She didn't want to attend, but Phil convinced her and squirted her with the water. He couldn't withstand anymore).

They went to the Lagoon again and five minutes before midnight the Tropical Islands staff gave everyone a free glass of champagne. Then a female voice in the speaker thanked everyone for spending the last day of the year 2016 here and announced that they is only one last minute left and started the countdown at twenty.

"Did any of you understand what she said?" asked Phil the trinity; he tried to drawn the loud noise coming from the speakers.  
"Ah, I forgot that you've never been in the TARDIS, it translates. It wasn't anything important, really," the Doctor answered. The countdown was on twelve now. How convenient.  
"Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Zeeerooo! Welcome to the year 2017!" the lady announced (in German) and then a big heap of confetti surrounded the whole water park.  
The Doctor, The Mistress, Clara Oswald, Phil Coulson and Rosalind Price toasted (this regeneration of the Doctor isn't a big fan of alcohol either) in the Lagoon.  
"Happy New Year 2017!" shouted Missy like if she cared about what year is on this little miserable planet, as she often called Earth.  
"Happy New Year, Ros."  
"Happy New Year, Phil."  
They took one more sip of the drink and shared a kiss. Missy insisted on the Doctor kissing her too (like it was some kissing competition) and Clara felt like a fifth wheel in that moment; her boyfriend was dead because of the woman next to her and she really couldn't think of starting a relationship with someone else, like if there was someone else.

They stayed in the water for more than hour, that was good about this place, no closing time. Then Phil and Ros went to have a shower and went to sleep to one of the apartments by the Lagoon they've booked (but they really didn't sleep, you can imagine).  
Clara went to sleep too and Doctor with Missy stayed until two a.m.; the pools were almost empty by this time. The Doctor liked it more that way.

The five met again in the morning; the TARDIS ones sat in the restaurant eating their breakfast (eggs and sausages and a toast with jam as usual) and Phil and Ros wanted to sit a few tables further in the middle, but Clara saw them and invited them to sit at their table.  
They had an American breakfast.

Clara, Missy and the Doctor stayed for one more day, but Phil and Rosalind had to get back to work that day. They've packed their things after breakfast, said hello to the travellers and thanked them for everything.  
("I still think she's not evil. I quite like her and you're not convincing me otherwise, Clara."  
"Keep thinking it, director Coulson. But the next time you'll be dealing with an invasion, it'll probably be her."  
"It was nice to know some other species then Chitauri and Asgardians."  
"Asgard? I was there once. Had a picnic with River."  
"River?"  
"My previous regeneration's wife," he explained.  
It went all like this. Ros and Missy quite became friends too. If Missy could have had friends. They promised to stop by sometimes, but not in New York, he can't go there. Rosalind asked why and the Doctor said that he'll explain the next time.)

"So, Doctor, what'll we do now?" Clara asked.  
"Let's just have a walk around. Then, I don't know. Come on," he prompted the girls and went towards the jungle in the centre of Tropical Islands.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that neither Phil nor Ros are that sharing, but I needed to write it like this, and I assure you that it's not Tropical Island commercial even though it might seem like it.  
> It's also the last story of this challenge, more coming in December again.


End file.
